{"id":304,"date":"2020-07-16T22:38:39","date_gmt":"2020-07-16T22:38:39","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/scottishbeasties.com\/tea\/?page_id=304"},"modified":"2020-11-21T15:02:52","modified_gmt":"2020-11-21T15:02:52","slug":"the-pensive-grouse","status":"publish","type":"page","link":"https:\/\/scottishbeasties.com\/tea\/the-pensive-grouse\/","title":{"rendered":"The Pensive Grouse"},"content":{"rendered":"<div id=\"wrap\">\n<div id=\"antswrap\">\n<div class=\"ants\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" src=\"https:\/\/scottishbeasties.com\/tea\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/11\/ants.gif\" alt=\"ants\" width=\"187\" height=\"98\" \/><\/div>\n<div class=\"ants2\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" src=\"https:\/\/scottishbeasties.com\/tea\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/11\/ants2.gif\" alt=\"more ants\" width=\"187\" height=\"98\" \/><\/div>\n<div class=\"ants3\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" src=\"https:\/\/scottishbeasties.com\/tea\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/11\/ants3.gif\" alt=\"even more ants\" width=\"187\" height=\"98\" \/><\/div>\n<div class=\"ants4\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" src=\"https:\/\/scottishbeasties.com\/tea\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/11\/ants4.gif\" alt=\"four more ants\" width=\"187\" height=\"98\" \/><\/div>\n<\/div>\n<div class=\"bg_img\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"alignnone size-full wp-image-305\" src=\"https:\/\/scottishbeasties.com\/tea\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/07\/pensive_grouse.jpg\" alt=\"the pensive grouse\" width=\"960\" height=\"700\" srcset=\"https:\/\/scottishbeasties.com\/tea\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/07\/pensive_grouse.jpg 960w, https:\/\/scottishbeasties.com\/tea\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/07\/pensive_grouse-300x219.jpg 300w, https:\/\/scottishbeasties.com\/tea\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/07\/pensive_grouse-768x560.jpg 768w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 960px) 100vw, 960px\" \/><\/p>\n<div id=\"grouses\"><div class='white' style='background:rgba(0,0,0,0); border:solid 0px rgba(0,0,0,0); border-radius:0px; padding:0px 0px 0px 0px;'>\n<div id='slider_472' class='owl-carousel sa_owl_theme autohide-arrows' data-slider-id='slider_472' style='visibility:hidden;'>\n<div id='slider_472_slide01' class='sa_hover_container' style='padding:5% 5%; margin:0px 0%; '>If a Boar tells a funny story ... can he still be described as a bore? <\/div>\n<div id='slider_472_slide02' class='sa_hover_container' style='padding:5% 5%; margin:0px 0%; '>Getting older is easier than getting wiser!<\/div>\n<div id='slider_472_slide03' class='sa_hover_container' style='padding:5% 5%; margin:0px 0%; '>If a grouse runs in front of a car, it gets tired.<\/div>\n<div id='slider_472_slide04' class='sa_hover_container' style='padding:5% 5%; margin:0px 0%; '>If a grouse runs behind a car, it gets exhausted! <\/div>\n<div id='slider_472_slide05' class='sa_hover_container' style='padding:5% 5%; margin:0px 0%; '>Light travels faster than sound ... <\/div>\n<div id='slider_472_slide06' class='sa_hover_container' style='padding:5% 5%; margin:0px 0%; '> ... which is why Bampots appear bright until you hear them speak! <\/div>\n<div id='slider_472_slide07' class='sa_hover_container' style='padding:5% 5%; margin:0px 0%; '>What is the speed of Dark? <\/div>\n<div id='slider_472_slide08' class='sa_hover_container' style='padding:5% 5%; margin:0px 0%; '>99.9% of midges give the rest a bad name!<\/div>\n<div id='slider_472_slide09' class='sa_hover_container' style='padding:5% 5%; margin:0px 0%; '>Can you be scared half to death three times? <\/div>\n<div id='slider_472_slide10' class='sa_hover_container' style='padding:5% 5%; margin:0px 0%; '>If you rearrange the letters in 'eleven plus two' ... you get 'twelve plus one'! <\/div>\n<div id='slider_472_slide11' class='sa_hover_container' style='padding:5% 5%; margin:0px 0%; '>If a dog gives birth to puppies on the street ... can it be arrested for littering? <\/div>\n<div id='slider_472_slide12' class='sa_hover_container' style='padding:5% 5%; margin:0px 0%; '>What do you do if you have strawberries growing on your head?<\/div>\n<div id='slider_472_slide13' class='sa_hover_container' style='padding:5% 5%; margin:0px 0%; '>Put some cream on them!<\/div>\n<div id='slider_472_slide14' class='sa_hover_container' style='padding:5% 5%; margin:0px 0%; '>When cheese gets its picture taken, what does it say? <\/div>\n<div id='slider_472_slide15' class='sa_hover_container' style='padding:5% 5%; margin:0px 0%; '>If you rearrange the letters in 'The eyes' ... you get 'They see'! <\/div>\n<div id='slider_472_slide16' class='sa_hover_container' style='padding:5% 5%; margin:0px 0%; '>Did you hear about the wee fortune teller who escaped from prison?<\/div>\n<div id='slider_472_slide17' class='sa_hover_container' style='padding:5% 5%; margin:0px 0%; '> She was a small medium at large! <\/div>\n<div id='slider_472_slide18' class='sa_hover_container' style='padding:5% 5%; margin:0px 0%; '>Two silk worms had a race. It ended up in a tie! <\/div>\n<div id='slider_472_slide19' class='sa_hover_container' style='padding:5% 5%; margin:0px 0%; '>The early bird may get the worm but ... the second mouse gets the cheese in the trap! <\/div>\n<div id='slider_472_slide20' class='sa_hover_container' style='padding:5% 5%; margin:0px 0%; '>If you rearrange the letters in 'A decimal point' ... you get 'I'm a dot in place!' <\/div>\n<div id='slider_472_slide21' class='sa_hover_container' style='padding:5% 5%; margin:0px 0%; '>What do you call a man who is half way through his front door? \r\nHamish (Hame 'ish)! <\/div>\n<div id='slider_472_slide22' class='sa_hover_container' style='padding:5% 5%; margin:0px 0%; '>A bicycle cannot stand up by itself because ... it is too tired! <\/div>\n<div id='slider_472_slide23' class='sa_hover_container' style='padding:5% 5%; margin:0px 0%; '>What do you call a chicken crossing the road? \r\nPoultry in motion!<\/div>\n<div id='slider_472_slide24' class='sa_hover_container' style='padding:5% 5%; margin:0px 0%; '>Why is a Calendar always nervous about the future? \r\nIts days are numbered!<\/div>\n<div id='slider_472_slide25' class='sa_hover_container' style='padding:5% 5%; margin:0px 0%; '>If a clock is hungry, does it go back four seconds? <\/div>\n<div id='slider_472_slide26' class='sa_hover_container' style='padding:5% 5%; margin:0px 0%; '>What does a man do standing up, a woman do sitting down and a dog do on three legs? <\/div>\n<div id='slider_472_slide27' class='sa_hover_container' style='padding:5% 5%; margin:0px 0%; '>Shake hands! (What else could it have been???)<\/div>\n<div id='slider_472_slide28' class='sa_hover_container' style='padding:5% 5%; margin:0px 0%; '>If a boar loses its voice, does it become disgruntled? <\/div>\n<div id='slider_472_slide29' class='sa_hover_container' style='padding:5% 5%; margin:0px 0%; '>Half the Beasties I know are below average! <\/div>\n<div id='slider_472_slide30' class='sa_hover_container' style='padding:5% 5%; margin:0px 0%; '>How much higher would sea levels be if sponges didn't live there? <\/div>\n<div id='slider_472_slide31' class='sa_hover_container' style='padding:5% 5%; margin:0px 0%; '>Why are they called apartments if they are all stuck together? <\/div>\n<div id='slider_472_slide32' class='sa_hover_container' style='padding:5% 5%; margin:0px 0%; '>Laugh until you cry. Cry until you laugh. <\/div>\n<div id='slider_472_slide33' class='sa_hover_container' style='padding:5% 5%; margin:0px 0%; '>Never play 'Hide and Seek' with a Peking Duck!<\/div>\n<div id='slider_472_slide34' class='sa_hover_container' style='padding:5% 5%; margin:0px 0%; '>Why did the Sheemach shout and stamp after losing the only manuscript of his novel? <\/div>\n<div id='slider_472_slide35' class='sa_hover_container' style='padding:5% 5%; margin:0px 0%; '>He'd lost the plot!<\/div>\n<div id='slider_472_slide36' class='sa_hover_container' style='padding:5% 5%; margin:0px 0%; '>If you rearrange the letters in 'Astronomer'... you get 'Moon Starer'!<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<script type='text\/javascript'>\n\tjQuery(document).ready(function() {\n\t\tjQuery('#slider_472').owlCarousel({\n\t\t\titems : 1,\n\t\t\tsmartSpeed : 200,\n\t\t\tautoplay : true,\n\t\t\tautoplayTimeout : 7000,\n\t\t\tautoplayHoverPause : true,\n\t\t\tsmartSpeed : 200,\n\t\t\tfluidSpeed : 200,\n\t\t\tautoplaySpeed : 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33);\n\t\t});\n\t\tjQuery('.slider_472_goto35').click(function(event){\n\t\t\towl_goto.trigger('to.owl.carousel', 34);\n\t\t});\n\t\tjQuery('.slider_472_goto36').click(function(event){\n\t\t\towl_goto.trigger('to.owl.carousel', 35);\n\t\t});\n\t\tvar resize_472 = jQuery('.owl-carousel');\n\t\tresize_472.on('initialized.owl.carousel', function(e) {\n\t\t\tif (typeof(Event) === 'function') {\n\t\t\t\twindow.dispatchEvent(new Event('resize'));\n\t\t\t} else {\n\t\t\t\tvar evt = window.document.createEvent('UIEvents');\n\t\t\t\tevt.initUIEvent('resize', true, false, window, 0);\n\t\t\t\twindow.dispatchEvent(evt);\n\t\t\t}\n\t\t});\n\t});\n<\/script>\n<\/div>\n<div id=\"vineLT\" class=\"vine\"><img decoding=\"async\" src=\"https:\/\/scottishbeasties.com\/tea\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/07\/vine.png\" alt=\"\" \/><\/div>\n<div id=\"vineLB\" class=\"vine\"><img decoding=\"async\" src=\"https:\/\/scottishbeasties.com\/tea\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/07\/vine.png\" alt=\"\" \/><\/div>\n<div id=\"vineRT\" class=\"vine\"><img decoding=\"async\" src=\"https:\/\/scottishbeasties.com\/tea\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/07\/vine.png\" alt=\"\" \/><\/div>\n<div id=\"vineRB\" class=\"vine\"><img decoding=\"async\" src=\"https:\/\/scottishbeasties.com\/tea\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/07\/vine.png\" alt=\"\" \/><\/div>\n<div id=\"vineLTL\" class=\"vine outside\"><img decoding=\"async\" src=\"https:\/\/scottishbeasties.com\/tea\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/07\/vine.png\" alt=\"\" \/><\/div>\n<div id=\"vineLBL\" class=\"vine outside\"><img decoding=\"async\" src=\"https:\/\/scottishbeasties.com\/tea\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/07\/vine.png\" alt=\"\" \/><\/div>\n<div id=\"vineRTR\" class=\"vine outside\"><img decoding=\"async\" src=\"https:\/\/scottishbeasties.com\/tea\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/07\/vine.png\" alt=\"\" \/><\/div>\n<div id=\"vineRBR\" class=\"vine outside\"><img decoding=\"async\" src=\"https:\/\/scottishbeasties.com\/tea\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/07\/vine.png\" alt=\"\" \/><\/div>\n<\/div>\n<div id=\"PGsays\">The Pensive Grouse says&#8230;<\/div>\n<div class=\"content_overlay\"><\/div>\n<div id=\"link_img\"><\/div>\n<div id=\"lower-section\">\nBy nature, grouse are bird brained creatures but the Pensive Grouse is unique. He is a thinker and loves sharing his &#8216;deep&#8217; thoughts with everyone. Sadly, sitting on a wood ants&#8217; nest doesn&#8217;t help his mood. Talk about ants in his pants &#8230;\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>The Pensive Grouse says&#8230; By nature, grouse are bird brained creatures but the Pensive Grouse is unique. He is a thinker and loves sharing his &#8216;deep&#8217; thoughts with everyone. Sadly, sitting on a wood ants&#8217; nest doesn&#8217;t help his mood. Talk about ants in his pants &#8230;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"parent":0,"menu_order":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","template":"","meta":{"footnotes":""},"class_list":["post-304","page","type-page","status-publish","hentry","entry"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/scottishbeasties.com\/tea\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/pages\/304","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/scottishbeasties.com\/tea\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/pages"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/scottishbeasties.com\/tea\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/page"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/scottishbeasties.com\/tea\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/scottishbeasties.com\/tea\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=304"}],"version-history":[{"count":16,"href":"https:\/\/scottishbeasties.com\/tea\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/pages\/304\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":475,"href":"https:\/\/scottishbeasties.com\/tea\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/pages\/304\/revisions\/475"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/scottishbeasties.com\/tea\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=304"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}